It doesn’t matter that you didn’t like wuxia before, once a convert, always a fan. Case in point, I recently met an 80-something-year-old grandpa following every episode of Romance of the Condor Heroes on Hunan TV. Uhh, you and me both grandpa!
#1. You consider Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Jacky Chan and Donnie Yen legends because they are.
Just watch any of their movies and you’d have to agree that they’ve got mad skills.
#2. You always wonder how homing pigeons manage to function like a cellphone until you realize that it’s impossible.
Trained pigeons can go from point A to point B but there’s no way they can fly the ends of the earth just to deliver a message to a person in the middle of nowhere.
#3. Your favorite authors include Jin Yong and Gu Long.
It also means that you have seen the Condor Heroes more than once given the number of adaptations over the years. After all, the more the merrier.
#4. You no longer find it weird that a woman can fool everyone into thinking that she is a man simply by cross-dressing as the opposite gender.
Apparently, people back in the day had a warped sense of perception but once you let the hair down, yep, he's a she.
#5. You know that a person who is poisoned can only be cured by another poison that is equally deadly.
Or at least that’s what you learned from TV.
#6. Your idea of an acupoint is on a whole other level. One point can render a person immobile.
It’s possible, right?!?
#7. You know for a fact that anyone who falls off a cliff will never die.
Even better if said person chances upon a cave with ancient martial arts scrolls; then voila, a kung fu master emerges.
#8. You know that a red piece of paper means red lipstick.
Who needs an actual lipstick when there's paper.
#9. If you don’t speak Chinese, the first Chinese words in your vocabulary include but are not limited to wuxia, wulin, jiang hu and shi fu.
Yet whatever the nationality or ethnicity, surely you must have imagined becoming a martial arts hero at some point.
#10. You are no stranger to supernatural feats like flying, an amplified sense of hearing, palm to palm energy transfer and the like.
As someone in the know, you understand that an energy transfer can save a life but it requires absolute concentration. No distractions allowed, not even a nudge.
Secretly wishing that the zither doubles as a martial arts weapon though to be honest, a fan will also suffice.
#12. You have heard of Justice Bao.
Wang Chao, Ma Han, Zhang Long, Zhao Hu, weiiii wuuuu… it sounds like a spell of some sort but it’s not.
#13. You know the hero's really hurt when he starts spitting blood.
Or should I say food coloring, tomato sauce or ketchup?
#14. It may be common to bow in East Asia but it was slightly different in the olden days of ancient China.
Greetings, my friend, puts hands together in front.
Also see A Guide for Wuxia Newbies.